This Week's Practice Exercise

Turn The Page

Prepared by: Norman Cooper

Posted on: October 14, 2012

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Exercise: In 400 words or less write a scene that puts your character right in the middle of some exciting action.

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Action scenes on film involve our eyes and ears (and if the sound in the theater is loud enough, our whole body). However, in print, our principal tool is detailed description. Details help the reader imagine what the action feels like based on sensory experience.

Action can be anything from a bomb squad technician working against the clock, to a man fleeing from would-be attackers on a crowded city sidewalk, to a boxer in the fight of his life. If the reader is involved in the story, he/she will feel the sweat on the technician’s brow, the panic of the pursuit, or the exhaustion of the fighter.

Action scenes are challenging ways to provide conflict in your story. In mystery and suspense novels, action scenes usually heighten the tension and move the plot along. "Show” don't “tell” when describing action.

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Exercise: In 400 words or less write a scene that puts your character right in the middle of some exciting action.

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In your critique, tell the writer whether the action made you squirm. Did it raise the tension to an uncomfortable level? Give examples of detail that worked or didn't work. Could the writing have been tighter? Was the piece balanced? Did the action scene fit realistically into a plot or was it just one big car chase or explosion? Would you read on?



These exercises were written by IWW members and administrators to provide structured practice opportunities for its members. You are welcome to use them for practice as well. Please mention that you found them at the Internet Writing Workshop.

This Week's IWW Practice Workshop Exercise

These exercises were written by IWW members and administrators to provide structured practice opportunities for its members. You are welcome to use them for practice as well. Please mention that you found them at the Internet Writing Workshop. Information about the IWW and all its individual lists can be found on the IWW Home Page.

"Every picture tells a story" (Version 2)
Prepared by: Rheal Nadeau
Posted on: March 8, 2003
Reposted on: January 11, 2004
Reposted on: January 16, 2005
Reposted, revised, on: March 25, 2007

Exercise: In 100 to 300 words or less describe a single moment in time -- a snapshot that tells a story without dialogue or action, but is capable of capturing a revealing moment that evokes an entire story. Use simple descriptive language, and remember to show, not tell.

• Often a scene, a photo, or a drawing, can tell an entire story without any action, words, interpretation, or explanation.
• A walk can reveal a half-eaten orange lying on the ground, a gate hanging from one hinge, or an elderly gentleman standing at the corner of a busy street. An empty house with broken windows, leaves floating in a swimming pool, or an abandoned toy on a side walk--all lend themselves to this exercise.
• With careful attention to detail, help the reader to see that defining moment in time.
• If you include people in the scene, remember to describe the scene as if you were looking at a snapshot.

Critiquing suggestions

What is the single revealing moment you take away from the scene's description?
What part of the writing helped you to see the moment hidden in the picture?

Don't Tell Me Mary Cried

By Florence Cardinal

DON'T TELL ME MARY CRIED
By
Florence Cardinal

Draw pictures with your words. Let the reader see what's happening. Show. Don't tell. Excellent advice for both beginning writers and for pros. But how is it done?

Don't tell us Sharon is pretty or Tommy is clumsy. When describing your characters, let us see them so we can decide for ourselves.

EXAMPLE #1: Sharon tossed her head and her long dark hair draped over her shoulders like a cape. She smiled and her brown eyes twinkled. Her face shone with an inner glow.

EXAMPLE #2: Tommy hurried along the street whistling a happy tune. Then he stumbled over a crack in the sidewalk. His library books flew out of his arms and landed in a mud puddle and his face turned red.

You can do the same thing with settings. Your readers can't see a hot afternoon in the city or a wintry day at the lake unless you draw the picture for them.

EXAMPLE #3: Lenny raced down the sidewalk toward the shady Town Square Mall. He was eager to escape the sun that scorched his back through his thin T-shirt. The hot cement blistered his bare feet. The breeze that ruffled his hair felt like a blast from a furnace and smelled of melting tar.

EXAMPLE #4: Frosty air nipped Laine's nose and she snuggled her face deep into her fur collar. She watched as Dad hitched the team to the hayrack. Whipped cream mounds of snow buried the shoreline of the lake. She scrambled onto the rack and burrowed into the hay. As the horses stepped out onto the frozen surface, the ice snapped and crackled beneath their hooves.

How about feelings? Don't tell me Joey was happy. Let me see the sparkle in his eyes and the grin he can't hide as he settles himself onto the seat of his new red bike.

Finally, don't tell me Mary is sad. Don't tell me she cried. I want to share in her misery and feel her pain.

EXAMPLE #5: Mary stared out the window as her friends strolled by. If Dad hadn't grounded her for not cleaning her room -- again -- she would be on her way to the beach, too. She bit her lip and drew a deep breath. A giant fist seemed to be gripping her throat and her eyes burned. Then tears filled her eyes. She slapped moisture from her cheeks with an impatient hand and turned her back on the sunlit street.

Word pictures bring your stories to life. They let the reader in on what's happening. Keep your writing exciting. Remember: Show. Don't tell.